In my early days of rattling around in the big University Chaplain shoes I’d just filled, I was wide open to God’s direction in how to direct my time and energy.  Straining upward for ministry wisdom to rain down, I kept hearing this instead: “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” I started wondering if my discernment OS needed a hard reset.

When that phrase – marriage and parenting advice attributed to John Wooden – didn’t go away, I spent a little time with it. I came to see it through the lens of my work alongside staff, faculty, and others in our community ministering to students. How might God be calling me to help us love one another in a way that our students would grow? How might I be called to love my coworkers in a way that would strengthen our shared work of soul care for our students?’

In my setting, we have a deep institutional commitment to our students’ Christian formation. We’ve also had a decentralized approach to ministry on campus that encourages every initiative, but can result in duplicated efforts and challenge continuity or sustainable ministries. It’s kind of the “good problem to have” of committing to the priesthood of all believers. Everyone shares in the Christian mission, but our vision for that is as diverse as the disciplines, programs, departments and organizations that make up our community.

How might God be calling me to help us love one another in a way that our students would grow? In the midst of this – and still very much in a discernment process – I am hoping to find ways of partnering with those already doing the work of ministry, learning from their vision and experience, and supporting their efforts. I have found some ways of connecting them with needed resources and friends. One of the outcomes of this has been the discovery of how our achievement-driven culture and the current ministry dynamic can create student over-commitment to the variety of options, and draw some of my colleagues into the frustration of energy and imagination spent on under-attended events. I’m learning that loving each other partly means trusting one another enough to partner, even if that means a diffusion of credit for the sake of student and leader energy and investment.

How might I be called to love my coworkers in a way that would strengthen our shared work of soul care for our students? As I have come to know this community of leaders, I realize we tend to expect that our resources for Christian mission will be renewed in the same way that our professional resources are. It happens largely invisibly; on your own time, according to the resources of your own department or discipline. We are quick to pray together, and I see the love among colleagues demonstrated daily. But not everyone is plugged in to a sustaining community of faith or rhythm of growth in God that is needed to strengthen the work of caring for our students, and care for one another. I am exploring how I can contribute to rooting our work of soul care in a life together of mutual dependence on God’s Spirit, and give some structure and rhythm to that in the midst of already hurried and full schedules.

To Wooden’s thinking, as much as I want for my children, if I neglect my spouse, our work to prepare our children for life on their own is weakened.  Giving of myself to my partners (it takes a village, right?) in raising children doesn’t rob the children of love, but displays what those children are to grow into and gives them the benefit of a stronger foundation. Loving my partners in ministry does not weaken our shared work, but is essential to it. The prophets and pastors of God’s people throughout scripture agree that any standard of institutional effectiveness is outranked by the measure of our love for one another. When we strengthen our connection through a shared life in God, we have something sustainable to invite our students to participate in, regardless of the shape it takes over time. I’m hopeful for what that might bring. I also see how this creates challenges not only to our systems, but my own habits and expectations.

While I’m finding my way in this, I’m eager to hear how other models and initiatives have facilitated this kind of shared life, and where some of the challenges might be ahead. And, I’d love to know how you have found ways to strengthen one another for your call to lead, in the midst of all leadership demands.

[ Back to LEADing LEADers Homepage ]

================

Chaplain Dave Lemley shares in the life and ministry of Pepperdine University, Malibu, CA. He’s doing some of that online at http://chaplainlem.wordpress.com/ and tracks of some of his partners’ good work at www.facebook.com/peppchaplain and on Twitter @chaplainlem. Dave is completing a PhD in Christian Worship at Fuller Seminary. He’s also doing all he can for his three amazing boys by loving their astounding mom.