I haven’t been to work in over a week now. It’s because late last Thursday (the 8th), my wife gave birth to our fifth child (yes, 5th).

Lailie Grace (pronounce Lay-lee) is now one week old and has given me good reason to completely alter my work schedule for the rest of the fall term.

It may be that the fifth time’s the charm when it comes to learning how to take a paternity leave.

In the past, I think my wife and I have tried our best to get things back to “normal” just as quickly as possible. My wife is tough — and so as soon as she felt well enough, she’d be encouraging me to get back to work. We thought we could speed up the process of finding our new normal if we got back into many of our old routines as soon as we possibly could.

But in a lot of ways, I think we might have made things more challenging than we needed to.

So this time around I’m taking a different approach.

I’m leaning into my paternity leave.

I’m not rushing back to work.

We’re letting our new “normal” find us.

And here are four reasons why:

1. I’m bonding with Lailie

There’s nothing like sitting and rocking a newborn.

Or holding her and looking into her curious eyes as she grabs ahold of my thumb with her tiny fingers.

I’m even good for changing some diapers and staying up late into the night in order to spend some time with my sweet little girl.

Bonding with Lailie is one of the biggest priorities for me right now.

2. I’m giving our other kids special time

Likewise, I’m giving our four other kids some special time and attention.

As much as I’d like to believe that Lailie wants to spend all her time with me — I know that she really wants time with mommy.

And with all of the attention that Lailie’s getting, it would be easy for our other kids to feel overlooked or left out.

So by staying home, I’m getting the chance to spend some one-on-one time with our two smaller kids during the day, and then still have enough energy left over to give some extra special time and attention to our two bigger kids after they get home from school.

Things are obviously different with a new baby in the house, but so far I don’t think our kids are suffering. And it helps considerably that grandma and grandpa are still in town!

3. I’m serving my wife

Thankfully, this was probably Heather’s easiest and speediest delivery — which has made her recovery time much shorter than with previous pregnancies.

But there’s still a period of recovery and adjustment.

And there’s still a lot of stuff around the house that needs to be tended to — and by being at home right now, I’m able to help with a lot of that while also allowing my wife to feel like she doesn’t have to snap back into our routines.

As I’m able to be home, relatively agenda free, I have the chance to serve in any way — at any time.

4. As a family, we’re finding our (new) way

So instead of forcing a new “normal,” we’re creating some time and space to feel our way into it.

We’re not feeling rushed — for now at least.

And I’m grateful to have a team back on campus that is willing to step in and cover a few necessary things in my absence.

There was a lot of work done in preparation for this time away, and there will likely be some catch up to do upon my return, but I tell you this — there’s no place I’d rather be right now then at home with my family.

 

I realize that every work place is different — but there are laws that provide rights for this kind of leave. And I’m finding that it can be one of the biggest blessings a family can experience.

 

QUESTION: What’s your biggest challenge when considering an extended time away from work — even for something as significant as the birth of a new child, or the death of a loved one?