The last couple of days I’ve posted some thoughts about how we journey with students who hurt. [If you missed either post you can click on Walking With Students Who Hurt or On Knowing Our Limits to read them.]
Today I’d like to focus in on two of the greatest “gifts” we can offer to students who are hurting:
space and presence.
The gift of space is, quite simply, creating an environment where wounded students can — be wounded. Students shouldn’t feel the need to “clean up their act” before they come to us, because they know that we’ll accept them “just as they are.” Students can come in their present state of woundedness and know that they will be welcomed, embraced and given space to find their way.
I think this gift of space is one many of us would like to extend, but unfortunately, have not been taught how.
Creating space for wounded students to be wounded (at least for some time) takes a few things:
- a growing awareness within the student body that we are available to them — especially in times of need,
- a growing exhibition of compassion and empathy for the needs of students,
- the ability to NOT have to “fix it” — whatever the problem might be
Along with the gift of space, the gift of presence is equally important!
Students need to know that they are the most important thing going on in that moment. They need to see us coming alongside them in the midst of their pain. So we’re not just creating space for them, but we’re choosing to willingly join them in that space and walk the painful path with them.
Again, something that many of us would desire to do, but something we probably haven’t seen modeled very well… which may make it incredibly challenging to actually do.
Being present might include:
- the ability to hold our tongue and use our ears,
- the ability to sit with someone in the discomfort of their pain,
- a willingness to clear, or change, our schedule should that be what’s most needed
Space and presence. Two “simple” gifts we need to be able to offer our students who hurt.
Are you willing?
Are you able?
