I recently had the pleasure of enjoying lunch with a couple of friends — and a few strangers.
And when one of the young guys put his phone in the middle of the table, two others quickly followed — and then looked at the two of us who had yet to clue in.
As I looked at the growing pile of phones, and then back at the young guy who started the pile — he could see that I needed an explanation.
“The game,” he said, “is quite simple. The first person to reach for the phone — for any reason — buys lunch.”
“YIKES!” I thought.
And then one of the other guys who had clearly played this game before added this:
“We’ve all recognized that we can be more than a little obsessed with checking our phones, so when we’re together — or in other settings where conversations with the people who are present should take priority — we stack our phones.”
It’s both simple and brilliant.
And I’ll be honest, I did find myself feeling a little “disconnected” during that meal — but that was the point, right!?
So I wonder how many of us could benefit from this same kind of practice — whether at meals with staff or students, coffees, meetings, etc. Or even at home — especially during the holiday season.
Whether the “loser” buys the meal, coffee at the next gathering, cleans up the dishes, or is saddled with some other form of “consequence” for being the first to forgo those who are present — for the sake of checking in with their technology — it seems like a great experiment in being present!
What do you think?
Do you have any practices like this that help you to be present?
Do you have any funny stories associated with games like this?
6 thoughts on “An Experiment in Being Present”
So you bought lunch because you took a picture with your phone? 😉
Great book Flickering Pixels talks a lot about the price we pay for technology. Things that were created to bring those far apart close has become something that makes those close feel far away. Where I am not sure that the penalty of paying for lunch is a good motivation, I feel that making more direct efforts to be present is needed in ministry. People have lost what it truly means to be present. I try and let my students know that they took the time to spend with me and I will be doing everything I can to be present with them.
What I do is always keep my phone on silent whenever I’m with other people. And it’s often in my pocket or tucked away in my purse or somewhere else out of sight. This makes me somewhat inaccessible to the other people out there in world who may be trying to get a hold of me at a moment’s notice, but on the other hand I am completely engaged with the people that I’m with. Pretty much, I’m not the person you want to call if there is an emergency because I might not respond to you for an hour or so (and I’ve discovered that there are very few true “emergencies”), but if I’m sitting in the same room as you, you can bet you have my full attention.
However, I’m not married and I’m not a mom. I imagine those two statuses might affect my level of connectedness to my phone.
Nice post. Thought-provoking is always good. Be blessed. :0)
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