Here are some thoughts from our third, and final, campus session with Andrew Marin.  I confess that I was quite ill on this day, and so my notes and reflections may be a bit scattered.  So be forewarned!

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Marin didn’t hold back tonight.

Right out of the gate he smacked us between the eyes with this statement: “There’s a difference between trying to win and trying to bring about the Kingdom of God.”

He was referring to the culture-war that has been quietly raging between the Evangelical Church and the LGBT community.

Both sides digging in.

Both believing that what ‘they’ believe is right… and the ‘other’ is wrong.

We cannot fight for ‘our way’, and God’s way, simultaneously… it’s just not possible.

At this point Marin describes for us the difference between ‘affirming’ and ‘validating’ the perceived ‘other’.

Affirming someone, according to today’s cultural definition (and not what the dictionary actually says), means to fully believe, support and endorse them and/or their side or position(s).

So in this current divide, the implications of one side ‘affirming’ the other, would imply that one side decided to give up all of their beliefs, convictions and viewpoints in order to take on that of the ‘other’… and therefore, would be affirming them.

Validating someone, according to Marin, is different from affirming (by today’s cultural definition) in that it allows both sides to retain their unique identity and beliefs, it validates that the life and experiences of  the ‘other’ are just as real as my own… and while we may differ on a lot of our beliefs, we can still honor and respect one another as  fellow humans — created by God.

Either side seeking ‘affirmation’ will ultimately get us no where, because no one is willing to concede.

The true reconcile-rs will be the ones who are willing to ‘elevate the conversation’ from being about who’s right and who’s wrong, to being about peace, hope and love — the things of the Kingdom of God.

As was Jesus, the true reconcile-rs are often met with resistance, opposition and even rejection.

So Marin offers up three principles for changing the cultural imputations that we have naturally been shaped by.

1. We need to understand our part of the Kingdom job description: it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job go judge and my/our job to love — with the outcome as a secondary issue.
2. We need to learn to love our neighbors — without qualification.
3. We need to recognize that God can work outside of our purview — just because we might not be able to make sense of it (whatever it may be) does NOT mean that God can’t work (or isn’t already at work) in that situation.

Now, failure is eminent.

It’s true.

There will likely be several ‘failures’ — of sorts — before identifiable success can be found.

But as we keep at it… committed to loving the ‘other’, we will eventually find a new way forward.

We will build bridges that allow for open and meaningful dialog to occur.

Relationships will be forged.

Stereotypes will be exposed.

Changes — of some kind or another — will manifest.

And we just might find ourselves a little closer to experiencing God’s Kingdom come… on earth, as it is in heaven.

We cannot fear the constructive tension that will undoubtedly be present, for growth will find us there.