Here are some reflections on our second campus session with Andrew Marin, as a part of our Sex & the Soul week of programming.

The focus: Answering the Hard Questions About Sexual Identity.

Andrew started the session by identifying 6 ‘culture-war’ questions (these are the questions that he hears most often in his work):

• Are you born gay?
• Is it a sin?
• Can you change (your sexual orientation)?
• Can you be a gay Christian?
• Will gays go to hell?
• Would you vote for gay marriage?

Notice anything about these questions???

They are all close-ended questions, seeking a single word answer, either yes or no.

Based on how a respondent answers these 6 questions, the interrogator will quickly determine that:

• I know who you are!
• I know what you believe!
• I know what you think about me!

And just like that the conversation will be shut down.

Lines are drawn.

Teams are decided.

It’s us…

and it’s them.

And at this point Marin suggests that maybe the largest cultural issue dividing the Church today might just deserves more than a one word answer.

He goes on to point out that according to what is recorded in the bible, Jesus was asked 25 close-ended questions.

15 of them came from enemies.

10 from his friends.

So 25 times Jesus was asked to give a yes or no answer…

and do you know how many times he gave one???

The right answer is 3 (but 0 would have been acceptable answer as well).

Jesus only gave a yes or no answer 3 times, and all 3 instances came AFTER he was already convicted.  All that was left for him to do was to hang on a cross.

So not once did Jesus answer a close-ended question, with a one word answer, during his public ministry.  And this is something, as Christ-followers, we should take note of.

No, we should emulate!

But how?

Instead of answering with a yes or no answer, Marin says, Jesus ‘elevated the conversation’.

As Marin studied all 25 instances he noticed a 3-step model for how Jesus answered such questions:

• He did not answer yes or no.
• He intentionally elevated the conversation to a Kingdom Principle — Something that was applicable to everyone.
• He drove it home and made it socially relevant — This helped everyone to recognize their own sinful position.

Marin suggests that Jesus’ objective was to elongate the conversation, not shut it down.

This is where most of us, as Christians, have failed the GLBT members of our community.

We have made our answers to any of the 6 ‘culture-war’ questions above the mode through which we have engaged our GLBT students.  Intentionally or unintentionally.

Marin now points to God, and Jesus’, command to love above all else.

No, he’s not saying forget about what you believe, but instead, to choose love first… and last.

He points to the ‘Kingdom Job Description’, as he calls it, where:

• The holy spirit will convict
• God will judge
• My job is to love

Ultimately, Marin would say that we need to VALIDATE the life and journey of our GLBT students.

Who they are, the road they have traveled, the things that they currently believe — about everything — It is all real and valid.  And we cannot, and should not, attempt to take that away from them.

Validating someone’s life is different from affirming or endorsing it.  And this is where some might have problems.

In validation there is the decision to come together, despite our difference, for the sake of something greater.

Affirmation or endorsement has more to do with one side giving up everything they believe and simply joining the ‘other side’.

No room for a different way of thinking, believing or living.

Some further food for thought:

• Yes, Jesus did say to love the sinner
• Yes, Jesus did say to hate sin
• Jesus NEVER said these two things together
• Jesus DID SAY to love the sinner and hate the sin IN YOUR OWN LIFE!

It was another challenging, encouraging and inspiring word from Andrew Marin (and I do hope I accurately represented his heart and thoughts here).

What are your thoughts on all of this?

Please take a minute and share your thoughtful reflection in the comment section below.

Thanks!