Tag: hard conversations

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The Objectification of Women

For the past 10 years, I have been privileged to be the pastor, counselor, mentor, “Dad,” spiritual guide, and friend to hundreds upon hundreds of students at Florida State University.

We’ve discussed everything from theology to dating to vocations and callings. We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried. Some talks have brightened my days, and some have broken my heart.

Among the heartbreakers, a persistent, nagging theme has recently emerged via three different, but related, issues…

Blogathons, Student Culture, Trends & Issues

How Far Is Too Far?

“If God was looking down on you, would it look any different to Him?”

I was in college and struggling with setting physical boundaries with my current boyfriend. I knew that God intended sex for within the confines of marriage and believed there were consequences if I disobeyed, but I wasn’t sure where the line was. How far is too far? I knew I felt shame and guilt for some of the behavior I had engaged in, but was it really wrong or was I over re-acting?

I shared these thoughts with my friend and mentor, Jenn.

Big Ideas & 'Best Of', Blogathons, Student Culture, Trends & Issues

The Naked Truth about Sex in College

The primary reason that college students leave their faith in college is their personal desire for sexual freedom and its incompatibility with religious morality.

Approximately 65% of all college students have had sex.

25% of college women’s first encounter with sex was unwanted or forced.

Less than 30% of college students have had a healthy conversation with their parents about the “birds and the bees”

GK Chesterton says, “The guy knocking on the brothel door is knocking for God”

Blogathons, Student Culture, Trends & Issues

Sex Does Affect Their Souls

I’m not sure I’m in the best position to make a contribution to this blogathon, given its topic, Sex and the Soul. I have grown long in the tooth and I find myself sounding like my parents.

But, I must be honest: I think the topic looms huge, the veritable 500-pound gorilla always there in the corner of the room.

Maybe a story from my own college experience will help to frame my concern.

Student Culture, Trends & Issues

The Problem of Future

The problem of future is simple — it’s not now.

And today’s student has a hard time grasping much that is “yet to come.” It’s not that they’re dumb — in fact we know that quite the opposite is true of them. But with so much going on in this very moment, it’s hard to think much beyond it.

They understand the here and the now — because they’ve grown up in an “instant” culture.

About a year ago I wrote a post entitled: Overcoming a Culture of Instant Gratification. In it I talk about needing to introduce students the discipline of slow. Why slow? Because in slow — and only in the slow of life — can some things truly grow and take shape in the ways that they need to.

Blogathons, Student Culture, Trends & Issues

Announcing the 3rd Annual Sex & the Soul Blogathon | Feb. 26-28

Preparation for the next blogathon is now underway!

As you very well know, today’s college students are more wounded than ever. They’ve been exposed to, or personally experienced, a lot of pain and hurt in relation to sex, issues of sexuality, and their intersection with the Christian faith.

And what they need most are women and men who are willing to “get dirty” with them in order to understand the depths of their hurts.

They need someone like you and like me to come alongside them — suspending judgment — and journey with them towards healing, reconciliation, and redemption.

The 3rd Annual Sex & the Soul Blogathon…

Academics & Vocation

You can’T Do It All

You can’t do it all. Right?!

If you’re reading this, than you’ve probably already figured this out for yourself — to some degree — because the majority of you (my faithful readers) work with college students and have gone through the process of vocational discernment in order to end up doing what you’re doing right now.

But this is not the case for the vast majority of students we serve.

They don’t know they can’t do it all.

In fact, most of them believe that they CAN do ANYTHING they want.

Student Culture, Trends & Issues

The Voices They Hear

Parents play a powerful role in the development of their children.

Seems obvious to say, yet I think we can tend to forget this truth when we work with students on college campuses — primarily because we don’t see parents, just students.

Sure, from time to time our students might bring their parents up in conversation. But it can be all to easy to forget that the ways in which our students think, believe, and live are without doubt a product of the ways and environments in which they were raised.

It’s true for all of our students — those who are thriving and those who are not.

Leadership Development

Is Your Ministry Overwhelmed?!

Is your ministry overwhelmed?

It’s a fair question, but one I think we often feel guilty asking.

The picture above is of a Bradford pear tree — that has split in two.

This picture captures the beautiful blossoms that grace this particular kind of tree every spring — which is why so many people choose to put them in their yards.

If you’ve ever driven down a road, lined with Bradford pears in full bloom, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s like driving through a path of gigantic Q-Tips that have been cut in two and shoved into the ground.