What would it look like to be content in our waiting and with our sexuality, as both singles and marrieds, not because we’re perfect at waiting for sex or we’re perfectly sexual but because we’re content in our humanity, in our femininity and masculinity, in our longing for union with the trinity?
For the past 10 years, I have been privileged to be the pastor, counselor, mentor, “Dad,” spiritual guide, and friend to hundreds upon hundreds of students at Florida State University.
We’ve discussed everything from theology to dating to vocations and callings. We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried. Some talks have brightened my days, and some have broken my heart.
Among the heartbreakers, a persistent, nagging theme has recently emerged via three different, but related, issues…
“If God was looking down on you, would it look any different to Him?”
I was in college and struggling with setting physical boundaries with my current boyfriend. I knew that God intended sex for within the confines of marriage and believed there were consequences if I disobeyed, but I wasn’t sure where the line was. How far is too far? I knew I felt shame and guilt for some of the behavior I had engaged in, but was it really wrong or was I over re-acting?
I shared these thoughts with my friend and mentor, Jenn.
The digital age has completely changed any conversation relating to sex. Statistics tell us that by the time a college student arrives on campus, they have been exposed to sexually explicit material for an average of seven years.
Those of us who work with students on a regular basis recognize the emotional and spiritual toll this takes on those on our campuses. We see the numbness, the apathy and the brokenness that often accompanies this saturation of explicit material.
Increasingly, I am becoming more aware of the physical manifestations of a sexual identity formed in the digital age. There is a growing amount of research relating to the actual neurological changes caused by long-term exposure to explicit material. The scientific term for this is neuroplasticity. Neurologically speaking, route behaviors we participate in have the ability to wire our brain to respond in certain ways and to specific stimuli.
The primary reason that college students leave their faith in college is their personal desire for sexual freedom and its incompatibility with religious morality.
Approximately 65% of all college students have had sex.
25% of college women’s first encounter with sex was unwanted or forced.
Less than 30% of college students have had a healthy conversation with their parents about the “birds and the bees”
GK Chesterton says, “The guy knocking on the brothel door is knocking for God”
I’m not sure I’m in the best position to make a contribution to this blogathon, given its topic, Sex and the Soul. I have grown long in the tooth and I find myself sounding like my parents.
But, I must be honest: I think the topic looms huge, the veritable 500-pound gorilla always there in the corner of the room.
Maybe a story from my own college experience will help to frame my concern.
I’m excited to announce that as a part of next week’s Sex & the Soul Blogathon, we will be giving away 5 copies of Abbie Smith’s forthcoming book Celibate Sex: Musings on Being Loved, Single, Twisted, and Holy.
Make sure to read all the way to the bottom to learn the context rules!
Preparation for the next blogathon is now underway!
As you very well know, today’s college students are more wounded than ever. They’ve been exposed to, or personally experienced, a lot of pain and hurt in relation to sex, issues of sexuality, and their intersection with the Christian faith.
And what they need most are women and men who are willing to “get dirty” with them in order to understand the depths of their hurts.
They need someone like you and like me to come alongside them — suspending judgment — and journey with them towards healing, reconciliation, and redemption.
The 3rd Annual Sex & the Soul Blogathon…
Merry Christmas — one and all!
As we move further in to the Christmas season, and nearer the end of 2012, it’s time to for some of my annual countdowns.
It seems fitting to start with one of the things I am most thankful for — because it’s what makes being a part of Faith ON Campus so enjoyable for me — and that’s YOU!
Some of you have gone so far as to offer guest posts at different seasons, that have helped to provide a unique perspective and/or insight that I myself could not offer — and the collective Faith ON Campus community has benefited from it — GREATLY!
So for my first countdown of 2012, I bring to you the Top 12 Guest Posts of the year!
This is a guest post I did for one of my new blogger friends, JR Forasteros. He’s a pastor in Dayton, OH and this post is a part of his ‘After Happily Ever After’ series. His blog is a great resource on faith and pop culture. Check out his blog and follow him on Twitter!
In the mid 1990s, the movie Jerry McGuire romanticized the notion of a soul mate — that one person that exists to “complete” us. Maybe you remember these infamous words that still conjure up feelings of desire, destiny, and fulfillment: