I’ve just returned from a mission trip to the Dominican Republic where I found something that I had lost. I used to have it, but I gradually misplaced it, not recognizing that I had lost it for good. I got it about 10 years ago, about the time that I went to seminary. Several times in the last decade, I temporarily misplaced it, but somehow in the last year or two, I didn’t realize that it was permanently gone. That’s why I was so excited when I found it again: on a mission trip in the Dominican Republic. What had been lost, and was now found was my ability to disconnect from technology.

As far as technology goes, I wouldn’t say that I’m a “geek.” Sure, I have had a “smart phone” for 3 years, but I certainly am not near the front of the Geek Pack for anything else “techie.” I’m not a Mac user, I don’t have a tablet computer, and I’ve only had internet at my house for the last year, when I got a “hot spot” on my phone. In the past, I’ve intentionally given myself boundaries related to my consumption of technologically-generated information but gradually, ever so slowly, I’ve found myself tied closer and closer to the main culprit: my cell phone.

For the first couple of years that I had a smart phone, I identified that having my email on my phone actually helped me to not be so overwhelmed with email when I got to the office in the morning. Also, it helped me deal with anxiety that I had about what might be piling up in my inbox, as I used to get so anxious wondering what emails were waiting for me. I would often break my boundaries and run up to my office to check email during times that I had previously set as “off-line.” It was nice to be able to hit delete quickly to junk email or respond quickly to an easy request. What I didn’t realize was that time wasn’t the biggest problem…when it comes to technology, the time-saving factor was secondary to my high need for accessibility.

Somehow, in the midst of my efforts to control my cell phone, it began to control me.

I discovered this on our mission trip to the Dominican Republic last month when I was separated from the magnetic powers of my HTC EVO. Wrapped up in the mini-computer that I held in my hand was a powerful, controlling, tool that was manipulating me, rather than being of service. During the first couple of days of the trip, I found myself reaching for my phone when I had a question about something, when my mind wandered to a friend or family member, or when I had a spare moment of “free time.” At first, the impulses to reach for my phone came frequently and as a group we had to change our normal tactics in communication. We had to remember to set meeting times and places since we wouldn’t be able to text each other to make contact. I felt a personal impact as well as I wondered about friends and family back home and thought about what was piling up in my inbox. However, gradually I began to enjoy the freedom that came with being out of the technology loop.

Before the trip, I would never have said that I had an addiction to technology. But, my experience of being “disconnected” revealed otherwise. I once heard that if you want to know if something is an idol, take it away and see how you react. When technology was removed for the span of 10 days, I discovered that I was turning to it (via my phone) when I felt nervous, when I was unsure of myself, when I thought of friends or family, and when my mind wandered off task…so I turned to my phone pretty much all the time that I wasn’t engaged with work or talking to someone (and sometimes even when I WAS talking to someone—how rude of me!).

Upon returning, I’ve started out with a much healthier relationship with my beloved phone. One day I forgot it at home when I went to work and didn’t rush right home to pick it up. I’ve even left it at home when out running errands so that I can be fully present where I am. It still serves its purpose—to help me connect—but it isn’t reaching into my head and heart in its sneaky little mind-numbing ways all the time when I’m actually engaged with something else.

I have learned that I need to reorder my relationship with my phone and the accessibility that it provides. The summer is a time especially that I have fewer demands of my time and more ability to set my schedule. This is the time for me to set boundaries with my phone. What I’ve decided upon is that I’m going to leave my phone in my office when I’m meeting with someone so that I am not distracted by wondering who is to get in touch with me (duh! Forgive me while I state the obvious! I’m not nearly as important as my ego thinks I am!). I’m also starting to shut off the internet for at least a couple of hours when I first get home so that I can do what I need to do at home and not just respond every time I see the light flashing of a new email. And finally, I’ve decided that I’m going to turn my phone to silent for at least part of every Sunday. Since I’m not serving a church, I actually get to have Sabbath on Sundays and while I want to be able to connect with friends or family on Sundays, I want to have a time of breaking from the need to be accessible. For the rest of my summer, I’m going to turn off my phone for at least the afternoon to either rest, “hang out” with friends or family, or read. I’m looking forward to being intentionally disconnected from that little black box and connected to myself, my relationships, and most importantly, to God. I am ready to break the disconnect that I have with connection and connect with who and what is most important. I found what had been lost, even before I realized it was gone.

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