A former female student of mine recently shared this TED talk on Facebook with the comment, “this sucks!”
I agree.
I’m just becoming familiar with TED talks, so this video may have already “made the rounds,” but if you haven’t seen it, I encourage you to watch it (it’s under 5 minutes in length) and then share your thoughts about how we might better assist the guys on our campus.
There’s so much about this video that’s troubling to me. And of course there are exceptions to the rule — because we often encounter them in our ministries — they’re not perfect, but they’ve got a lot going for them.But we also see plenty of guys who are struggling… and we know that there are many, MANY more that we don’t see who are in desperate need of help.
So rather than getting hung up on the sad state of so many of our guys… I want us to consider the potential angles and avenues for targeted, intentional ministry that lay before us with the young men on our campuses this fall.
Here are a few ideas that come to mind for me:
Offer a recovery from addiction(s) group — Through a partnership with the counseling center on campus we could offer a group that helps guys begin to deal with some of the addictions they face. Porn, excessive gaming, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc. — by the time young men arrive on our campus, many will have succumb to some addictive behavior — and they will need professional help. We can help facilitate this.
Offer a mentoring opportunity — Sadly, too many of our guys have not been given an example of what a godly man looks like, how one lives and prioritizes their time. We have the chance to serve as a mentor to a few, but we will have to identify, encourage and potentially train other godly men around campus to serve in this role as well.
Provide peer group accountability — Many of the relationships that our guys are in will likely be connected to the destructive behavior(s) that they are trying to overcome. This being the case, we again will find ourselves in position to help assist these students in establishing new relationships with other guys who are doing their best to live faithful lives during their college years.
This list is by no means complete.
And I’ve got to believe that there are some of you who are already doing so great things with guys that help to deal with some of these issues…
So please, share your wisdom and insight, comments and questions in the comment section below.
You can also check out a similar post I wrote on mentoring and friendship here: Mentors and Friends: Why You Need to Be a Spiritual Matchmaker.
Our guys are counting on us — whether they know it or not — and we cannot let them down.
5 thoughts on “The Demise of (College) Guys?”
Guy, thank you for making us aware of this video. Have you read Guyland (I’m away from my office and blanking on the author’s name)?
I think this issue is one of the crises of American culture that is largely being overlooked.
Hey Steve!
I’ve not read Guyland, but will definitely look for it. What are you all doing down at SMU to help guys in this regard?
Thanks for sharing!
In terms of the porn issue.
One idea is to host the Porn Nation Pure Freedom events. It was one of our best attended evangelistic events and really helped our Christian students deal with this head on.
You can learn more at:
http://www.pornnation.org/
http://www.bravehearts.net/
Hey Russ!
Beyond the event, how did you all follow-up with the young men and women who attended this event? What kind of long-term support and/or accountability was available to them. It would seem that this could quickly become a very big (even overwhelming) focus of your ministry… which could actually have a downside to it.
I’d love to hear more!
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