The Hookup Culture & Trending Virginity on Campus

Updated 4/2/12

In late March of 2011, USA Today ran an article entitled,  More College ‘Hookups,’ but More Virgins, too.

It’s a must read for anyone who cares about college students!

The article continues to paint a picture of the already brutal reality of relational life on campus — a reality that many of us have had a ringside seat for as it has developed — with the detailed strokes provided by statistical analysis from multiple research sources.

One source reports that by the end of their senior year, more than 70% of college students  (both men and women) report having had at least 1 hookup… with the average being over 7 for women, and almost 10 for men.

Students prefer using the term “hookup” or “friends with benefits” as a way of leaving room for interpretation regarding the extent of sexual activity that was engaged in.

The article doesn’t seem to suggest whether students are for or against this relational reality; but we know that author Donna Freitas’ research — and book, Sex & the Soul — suggests that the majority of students engaged in the hookup culture do NOT prefer it… but (as the USA Today article also suggests) see it as a necessary reality for “intimacy” and/or “relationship” during the college years.

What a sad reality.

I grieve for this generation of young people who participate in this broken relational system, and even believe it to be the only option, especially given that they appear to be unaware of the mounting baggage that they will carry forward — possibly into marriage — and the challenges it will produce.

And as much as I am grieved, I believe God aches all the more.

This can’t be what God had envisioned when creating us as relational beings — in God’s own image.

But… all does not appear to be lost.

The article also pointed to a reason to have hope.

Virginity, among college students, is trending upward.

Yep.  Nearly 25% of seniors surveyed made that claim.

Why?

The article does not say.

It may be due to religious or moral convictions/values, and it may not, but the reality is that some students are choosing a different — very different — relational path for their pre-marital journey.

Similarly, in February of this year, U.S. News (on msnbc.com) reported in this article that a group of students at Yale University were taking a stand against the “sexual obsession” on their campus. Standing in sharp contrast to Sex Week (which boasts more than 50 programs), the group “Undergraduates for a Better Yale College” hosted “True Love” week, as a distinct alternative. With only a handful of programs, the group was hoping to promote love and relationships

These are non-Christians (according to the article — no political or religious agenda) who have seen enough of the hookup culture to know how damaging it is… and are choosing a different way.

And I find myself wondering…

  • How do we encourage our students who choose to wait to have sex, without condemning those who have not?
  • How many of our students — yes, even the students that we have strong relationships with — feel trapped in this relational mire?
  • How many of our students are waiting for us to offer them a way out — a different way forward?
  • Are we able to provide a safe, loving and non-judgmental space for our students to be open and honest with us?

Setting captives free.

Isn’t that what Jesus is about?

And is it not a part of the work that God has called us to  as well?

What do you think?


7 thoughts on “The Hookup Culture & Trending Virginity on Campus

  1. Re-reading this post on sex and virginity (from April), it makes me think of the research of Mark Regnerus at Univ. Texas, Austin. The numbers he gives for sexually active young adults (by age 20, if I remember correctly) is staggeringly high. It therefore causes me to question the 25% figure for virgins in the USA Today article. Can anyone comment?

    1. Hey Steve!

      I’m looking at the April/May issue of Neue Magazine that sights the following statistics for unmarried young adults (18-29):

      Have had sex: 80% of Young Evangelicals, 88% of Non-Christians

      Are in a current sexual relationship: 42% of Young Evangelicals, 53% of Non-Christians

      Are not in a current sexual relationship, but have had sex in the past year: 22% of Young Evangelicals, 23% of Non-Christians

      Have had sex, but not in the past year: 10% Young Evangelicals, 6% Non-Christians

      Have never had sex: 20% Young Evangelicals, 12% Non-Christians

      The source for these statistics are The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, December 2009.

      So based on this research (which is now a year and a half old), the USA Today article would be a little higher, but not too far off.

  2. Great thoughts and questions, Guy. I’m heartbroken myself. I feel we won’t win this battle until we can convince the next generation that they were NOT made made primarily for experiences (like sex), but for relationships. They must be convinced that their hearts are crying out for a deeper intimacy of which sexual intercourse is meant to be the reflection, not the definition. And that by continuing to pursue sexual intimacy, they won’t merely miss the relational/emotional intimacy their soul desperately seeks, but they will in fact, cauterize their soul so that it can no longer experience that deeper relational/emotional intimacy.

    1. I went to the article you sited and here’s more evidence of this priority of experiences over relationships:

      “Many
      young people are eschewing relationships as too much hassle, especially
      when they plan to study abroad, leave town for internships or go to
      graduate school, says sociologist Teresa Downing-Matibag of Iowa State
      University.”

      Of course, here’s nothing wrong with studying abroad, leaving town for internships or going  to grad school (or having sex within the proper context, for that matter), but it’s pursuing all of these things to the detriment of relationships.

      Even many strong believers who make it to their wedding day as virgins, are they getting married to grow further in relationship or just finally have the experience of sex?

      OK, I’ll stop commenting on my own comments now. Sorry, Guy.

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