Today marked the beginning of our 2nd Annual ‘Sex & the Soul’ week on campus.

This is a week specifically set aside to explore the intersections of sex, sexuality and faith… and to engage in some conversations that students desperately desire to have, and that the Church has long-avoided, making them both needed AND overdue.

Over the course of this week I will attempt to reflect on our 3 guests, their thoughts, and if I have anything left — some personal reflection.

To kick-off the week we’ve invited Andrew Marin, Founder and President of the Marin Foundation (http://www.themarinfoundation.org/), and author of the award-winning book Love Is An Orientation, to speak with our students.

This morning’s session was on ‘Church and Sex in a Postmodern and Emerging Culture: What is the 4th Ideal?’

Here’s the gist of what Andrew said (as best I can recall – my apologies to Andrew if I misrepresent him in any way):

For much of our life, we’ve been told what to believe about God, Sex, and the “Ideal Life”.

Some of what we’ve been taught comes from the bible (hopefully the parts on God, especially), but much of what we’ve been taught about Sex, the “Ideal Life” and even God does NOT come from the bible.

For the sake of time and space I won’t go into how this has come to be, but instead, want to focus on what it looks like today.

Marin suggest that there are 3 primary frameworks that we use to shape our understanding of these 3 realities (God, Sex and the “Ideal Life”):

• God serves to shape our understanding of the Ideal Life and Sex — For Christians attempting to live a life devoted to faithfully following Jesus, and living according to the bible, their framework often goes something like this: God is the starting point, and shapes both their understanding of Sex and of their Ideal Life.  But there’s also a link between Sex and the Ideal Life — some ways in which they shape one another.  And he also suggested that our understanding of Sex and the Ideal Life have some influence on our understanding of God (which if often unnoticed by us).  So while God is the starting point (and ending point), all three elements ultimately have an impact on our understanding of the others.
• Our ‘Ideal Life’ serves to shape our understanding about Sex, and ultimately about God — For non-Christians, their starting point is either going to be the Ideal Life or Sex.  In this model, the Ideal Life is the starting point. From here, ideals and understandings about Sex are made. And regarding God — whether intentional or not — an understanding of the Spiritual will be developed in this framework.  As in the first framework, all three entities will ultimately have some level of shaping influence on the others, but the starting (and ending) point is the Ideal Life.
• Sex serves to shape our understanding of both God and our Ideal Life — The third of the three frameworks starts with Sex as the starting point.  Sex will serve to shape one’s understanding of the Ideal Life and God.  All elements will have some shaping influence on the others, but Sex is the start and end point in this framework.

Marin concludes that none of these are good.

None are sufficient.

None, ultimately, lead to the kind of life that God intends for us to have.

Instead, Marin suggests there is a 4th way.

Something much better.

Something much more biblical.

In this ‘4th Ideal’:

• God is over and above Sex and the Ideal Life.  God is not impacted by our ideas or understanding about sex or the ‘ideal life’, but does shape our understanding about both.  As we yield our lives, and desires, to God our understanding of Sex and our Ideal Life are put into proper perspective and context.
• The Ideal Life and Sex are not linked.  In the previous 3 frameworks, everything is connected and has the ability to impact the others (at varying levels, to varying degrees).  In this 4th Ideal, this is not the case.  God never intended for sex to be a ‘be all’ or ‘end all’.  God never said that your Ideal Life would include sex in the forms, or amounts, of x, y or z.
• Love is helping others to become more Christ-like.  Ultimately, Marin suggests that the bible is quite clear — the greatest expression of love towards someone else is NOT having sex with them… but helping them to become more like Christ.

Wow.

WOW!

It was a great way to open our week together.

So much to think about.

So what do you think about Marin’s ‘4th Ideal’?

I’d love to know what you think!

Please take a moment to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Thanks!