The prominent dialogue between the GLBT community and the church makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think I’m alone in this, but I rarely find other people (Christians or not, gay or not) who seem as bothered as I do. My discomfort around this topic heightened this past year when it became a larger reality in my sphere of ministry. In trying to read and have conversations with others about how to minister to those within the GLBT community, I continued to be discouraged and annoyed by the rhetoric I heard over and over. During these talks, I kept thinking in my head, “There has to be a different way. A way that transcends political agendas and insulated faith communities. A way that respects the full dignity of the person and the holiness of the Triune God.”
The different way that I am looking for is an elevation of the conversation above the rhetoric of who is right and who is wrong; a conversation centered on the person and ministry of Jesus and our place in carrying on that ministry.
Jesus, himself, found it necessary at times to elevate the conversation. He would start with an everyday reality and then infuse it with kingdom possibilities. One place in particular is in Mark 8:27-30. After some very public and amazing acts of ministry, Jesus turns to his disciples and asks, “Who do the people say that I am?” A question about people’s opinions and thoughts based on his actions, requiring little faith to answer.
But the next question is “Who do you say that I am?” A much more direct question that requires a great deal of faith. Peter appears to be the only one bold enough to answer, “You are the Messiah.” Through Peter’s faith, Jesus elevates the conversation by challenging the cultural assumptions about the Messiah. He tells the disciples how the Christ must suffer, die, and rise again (8:31), and any who follow him must understand that it is a way of self-sacrifice, not self-service (8:34-38).
I like to refer to what Jesus does here as the theological practice of asking the next question.
In my conversations with students about any matter related to faith, many will state what they believe not expecting to be challenged about it. Their answers are often short, cliche, and even “Sunday School-ish”. So when I am in a small group or one-on-one setting, I make a point to ask the next question. Many times that question is why? or can you tell me what you mean by that? Whatever the next question is, it challenges the student in two distinct ways: 1) to clearly articulate what they mean/believe and 2) challenges both his/her and my assumptions.
In a similar way, when conversations occur surrounding the GLBT community, the first remarks are often easy things to say regarding what is right and what is wrong. If the conversation stayed on these points, it would be more of a soapbox or an argument than a true conversation. But asking the next question challenges the assumptions underlying these beliefs, not necessarily to change the beliefs, but to ground them more firmly in the truth of reality.
**For more on elevating the conversation, I highly recommend Love is an Orientation by Andrew Marin, whose thoughts have guided and influenced my own.
6 thoughts on “Elevating the Conversation”
The “Why?” question is my favorite one and, in my opinion, the most important one. Thanks, D!
D, thanks for encouraging us to ‘elevate the conversation’! We need to be willing to challenge our students to think deeper, and with more intention, in every aspect of their life.
What they think informs what they believe and what they believe informs how they live. Therefore thinking beyond the surface level is a must!
When you bring this together with the powerful nature of sex and sexuality… whoa.
I agree with your frustration and am thankful for Christian leaders like yourself who are trying to elevate the conversation. Most “Christian” discussions re: the GLBT community feel disconnected and loaded to me. I have found myself having less conversations about the “topic” of homosexuality (which people have concrete opinions about) and trying to create more situations where cloistered Christians can spend some time getting to know a gay friend.
If the incarnation teaches us anything it is that God does not want for us to talk theology from a distance, but rather to flesh out the love of God in community with those we are called to love. Who cares what our theology is regarding the GLBT community if we aren’t sacrificially loving towards those that are gay?
Maybe part of the elevation will be when we cease trying to talk people into what we believe about the topic and start trying to lay our lives down for a group of people that, if we are honest, have been intentionally cut off from the body of Christ. I would imagine most people’s conversations would elevate, as I hope mine has, once they have a brother/sister who is dealing with it personally. It always looks different when it is about someone you love.
Amen MNDixon!
So D. . . . . what is the next question? ;0)
I really like your idea about the theological practice of “asking the next question.” really helpful. i will add that to my own practice. it is insightful.
Thanks for sharing! It is difficult to elevate the conversation when so many people don’t. It is tragic that almost everyone involved in this discussion sees their opinion as superior, including me!
I like the idea of elevating the conversation better than the related approach of “can’t we all just get along?” I do not believe being different is bad, nor are disagreements bad, but I do think being disagreeable is bad.
I find that there are more and more Christians who are quick to say they are not judgmental, or that being judgmental is bad. I agree that focusing on your judgment is not helpful and that focusing on loving people is definitely way more important, but I do have opinions about what God wants for me and others.
We know people by their fruit scripture implies assessment which is related to judgment. The Bible doesn’t say to leave the splinter in your friend’s eye, but to remove the beam out of your eye first. Observing the proverbial splinter implies judgment. Jesus rendered his judgments on more than one occasion, and Paul does it frequently in scripture. However, context and attitude are paramount when and how it happens. I wrestle with my own judgments and attitude frequently and find I speak too quickly and listen too slowly.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
Comments are closed.