Here’s a bold claim: I do not think that “Gay Christian” is an oxymoron. I do, however, think there are other adjectives being put before Christian that create an oxymoronic term. “Greedy Christian,” “Judgmental Christian,” “Hateful Christian,” “Violent Christian,” Graceless Christian” are a few that come to mind. But not “Gay Christian.”
Lately, I have been questioning if putting any adjective before the word Christian is such a good idea. The wise and late Michael Spencer, aka the Internet Monk, thinks that sticking so many adjectives in front of the word Christian has, in actuality, forced the term to lose some of its meaning. Being a Christian for him means knowing God as the Father through his Son, Jesus; experiencing forgiveness and a right relationship with God; following the way of Jesus in a community; and participating in the mission and life of the Kingdom of God throughout the world. (For more, see his Mere Churchianity).
I think I believe with the Internet Monk on this one. Regardless of our orientation, if you believe the above, I’m pretty sure you can call yourself a Christian. It seems that if our identity is Christ, we should not be modifying it with any adjectives. Christ is our all in all. Because of Christ, I have decided to make my own life Christ-like, as flawed as I am. It seems odd to me, though, that some people believe that being gay can discredit a belief in God.
Too often, the Christian community overly sexualizes the term gay. As soon as one hears the term, the often-immediate response is thoughts of two people of the same sex having sexual relations. But that shouldn’t be the case. It needs to stop. It’s dehumanizing. Just because one identifies as gay does not mean they are sexually promiscuous. They might be, sure, but I know countless heterosexual Christians that seem to enjoy sleeping around even though they “preach” sexual purity.
I have a good friend with whom I attended seminary. He is one of the most knowledgeable Christians I know, from his actions and life I learn about God. His preaching is amazing. He loves the Lord and I know that the Holy Spirit dwells within him. He loves hymns. He knows Scripture. He is humble, kind, loving, patient, gracious, and gentle. He loves communion and was baptized and confirmed into the Church. He is also gay.
Is there a place for him in the Church? I sure hope so. The Church would be missing out on an amazing Christian man if he weren’t allowed to belong.
What is so interesting is that he is more sexually pure than I am, a heterosexual Christian. I do not even think he has held hands with another male. Although gay, he is currently celibate and abstinent. Yet, because he identifies as gay, he will be shunned, people will question if he actually is a Christian, he may not be able to pastor, it is assumed he isn’t sexually pure, among other things. However, if as a heterosexual pastor I become addicted to porn or am sexually promiscuous, I will most likely be allowed to continue my pastorate; with some accountability, repentance, and perhaps counseling all will be considered fine. Most churches will hire me, a heterosexual Christian with some past sexual promiscuity, over him, a sexually pure gay Christian. This doesn’t make sense. This just might be hypocrisy.
I am convinced that all Christians, regardless of our sexual orientation, must pursue a “holy-sexuality.” (This language comes from Christopher Yuan). That means we pursue holiness in all aspects of our life. Therefore, it’s not about heterosexuality or homosexuality, but instead “holy-sexuality.”
If we are single, we keep our thought life pure and pursue holiness. We decide that countless sexual partners may not be what God has intended. We work to stop lusting after and objectify other people. If we are in a relationship, we continue to pursue holiness and purity. We work for the edification of our partner. We put them before ourselves, we love self-sacrificially, we keep our thought life pure, we encourage them, we pray for them, and we love them as Christ does.
So if you are a Christian, regardless of your orientation, pursue holiness. Be holy like God is holy. Don’t be holy because I told you or a pastor says so, but seek holiness because of what God has done for us through Christ. For there is nothing we have done that will make God love us less and there is nothing that we will do that will make God love us more. Even though we are more jacked up and sinful than we ever imagined, in Christ, we are more accepted, loved, and cherished than we ever hoped at the same time. That is why I pursue holiness.
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Nathan Albert is the Director of Pastoral Care at The Marin Foundation in Chicago, IL. He is currently finishing his Master’s of Divinity at North Park Theological Seminary and is writing his thesis on the Evangelical Covenant Church and Homosexuality. Nathan holds a BFA in Musical Theatre Performance from Rockford College and blogs regularly at naytinalbert.blogspot.com.
17 thoughts on “Regardless of Orientation, Seek Holiness”
Nathan – thank you for this insightful post. Your semantics lessons are such a breath of fresh air in understanding the way we present our beliefs and let our judgments seemingly leak out of our minds. You are giving us new eyes to see. Thank you for your perspective… your awareness… and your grace! Getting at the issue behind the issue has always been a problem for the Church. Thanks for challenging us to take another look!
I thank Nathan for looking at this hot button topic pastorally. The truth is that most discussions regarding our gay brothers and sisters are not very helpful to those of us trying to love everyone in a manner fitting of Christ. I, like Nathan, have to be honest and say that those in my community who are gay have generally spent far more time in prayer, reflection, and struggle over their sex lives than I or most of my heterosexual friends have ever dreamed of. If we believe in a personal God who resides not just in the universe but within us, then why would we be uncomfortable with the idea that God can/will work personally within our gay friends to help guide them into holiness? Why do we not call both gay and straight to the same goal, the Love of God and neighbor, after which everything else falls into place? Otherwise we risk isolating the very people we are called to embrace. We have created a double standard that has pushed out gay people completely or into hiding, neither of which has any place in the Kingdom of God.
Beautiful thank you.
Nathan – thank you for this insightful post. Your semantics lessons are such a breath of fresh air in understanding the way we present our beliefs and let our judgments seemingly leak out of our minds. You are giving us new eyes to see. Thank you for your perspective… your awareness… and your grace! Getting at the issue behind the issue has always been a problem for the Church. Thanks for challenging us to take another look!
Now the real question is whether or not gay folks will still be thought to be Christian if they are not living in total conflict about their sexuality and are pursuing relationships and the kinds of things that straight Christians are allowed to enjoy. Would this friend of yours who is a great preacher, etc, still be thought of as holy if he had a boyfriend or was dating around or doing things that heterosexuals do without second thought?
Writing like this is considered progressive by Evangelicals, but when we start to think of LGBT people as being fully active in their lives in the ways that heterosexuals are (aka dating, sex, marriage), we see just how prejudiced people are.
Let’s not talk about the open-but-celibate homosexual, but the open-and-living (I say living as opposed to practicing or active because those terms are loaded) LGBT person who is participating in life the same way her heterosexual counterparts are. There are a LOT more open-and-living gays than open-but-celibate ones–and Evangelicals’ efforts to bring them into the fold won’t go too far if they are expected to abandon their relationships to be fully accepted at church.
Whoah, Nathan! You challenged me; especially with this quote: “Most churches will hire me, a heterosexual Christian with some past sexual promiscuity, over him, a sexually pure gay Christian. This doesn’t make sense. This just might be hypocrisy.” I also agree wholeheartedly that we need to drop the other adjectives all together. Your friend shouldn’t identify himself as a gay Christian any more than I should refer to myself as a recovering porn addict Christian or a 3-pt Calvinist Christian or a heterosexual Christian. I want to be identified in Christ alone! (And someday I WILL be!) Thanks for your perspective!
Hey Nathan: Great article and really convicting. Unfortunately, you are right about many who won’t hire your seminary friend but won’t think too much about another who has “slipped” with the opposite sex. I guess we’ve still got some work to do, brother!
Hey Nathan: Great article and really convicting. Unfortunately, you are right about many who won’t hire your seminary friend but won’t think too much about another who has “slipped” with the opposite sex. I guess we’ve still got some work to do, brother!
Nathan, thank you for this wonderful and timely article! Your insight into the bias that many Christians have against LGBTQI individuals is something that every Christ follower can learn from. We all have a group of people (or two groups, or three) that we deem “less than” ourselves. But in being born into new life in Christ we are supposed to leave those old prejudices behind and learn to love all people, just as God loves all people. We who worship the Lord who commands us to love our neighbor as ourself hurt not only ourselves but God’s community by excluding others. None of us are perfect.
I would add that some denominations already “get it,” and Christians who self-identify as LGBTQI may find great church homes in them.
Hi,
Interesting, but limiting insight into what freedom in Christ looks like. I can totally accept a person who has a homesexual orientation who is is pursuing healing from his same sex desires. This is a sign of a disordered orientation, not wholeness. A heterosexual who engages in sexual sin with himself or others is also in sin but his affections are in order to the design from the Father. This man, no matter what you see on the outside, is not leaning into the freedom from the wounding of his heart, like the heterosexual who sins sexually. The heterosexual when married is free to enjoy their spouse freely, while the homosexual is constrained by the Holy Spirit to express his orientation toward other men. One is free while the other is not free. Considering that Christ came that we would be free to walk in the freedom of the authority of Sons.
Tim
Tim,
I am a little confused by your comment. Perhaps I need some clarification.
It seems you would say that being gay, just as an orientation, is a flaw and disordered? You speak of healing but what if healing never comes (and I assume you think healing means “becoming heterosexual again”)? I know many individuals who have prayed for God to “deliver” them from their same-sex attractions and it never happens. What then? What if that “freedom” never happens?
Hi Nathan,
Orientation is not the issue! What we do defines us, not what we think we are. I may want to lie all the time, but not lie. That does not make me a liar. I was a pathological liar and I passed lie detector test lieing my way through it. When I became a Christian, it took me awhile for me to stop but I did. My identity who I am in Christ manifested itself through telling the truth , not by not lieing but accepting that I was in Christ.
For the person whose sexual orientation does not change, the expression of their true identity in Christ would be a chaste person for the rest of their life. Just like a heterosexual who never gets married, being Chaste is the will of God for them. I do not believe that people who have same sex attraction can get married in God’s eye. The state may make a legal construct and call it married but it God’s eyes it can never be.
Marriage is the union of the masculine and feminine and joining together. As we read in creation, the feminine was in the man at all time and The Father pulled the feminine out of man and then when they came together they were one. They were called Adam. Eve was only given her name after the fall.
I believe that the evangelical church has been insensitive to those wanting to come out of homosexuality and has not offered and invited people who want to walk in a Chaste lifestyle a welcoming community. My best friend came out of a homosexual orientation and it took almost 20 years. He considers himself very blessed.
And for those whose freedom never happens, they are called to being Chaste.
I have a question that I would appreciate an honest answer. Have you ever come across someone wishing he were attracted to the same sex and frustrated that his orientation wasn’t changing?
Tim
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