Shame Or Grace: What Does Your Ministry Really Extend to Struggling Students?

By guy.chmieleski@gmail.comBlogathons, Student Culture, Trends & Issues

Have you heard?

Christians are judgmental.

At least most of us are.

And today’s young people know it.

In fact, recent research conducted by the Barna Group shows that the judgmental nature of Christians is one of the biggest ‘turn-offs’ to Christianity — for young Christians and non-Christians  alike.

As a result of this, in a sort of reverse-judgmentalism, many college students are coming to campus with their minds made up about us.

We, like all of the other Christians out there, are just waiting to cast judgment on the lifestyle choices these young people make.

Unfair you say?

I agree.

And so would they.

But our present reality is that you and I, as college ministers, start in a ‘hole’ that we must dig our way out of before students will give us the time of day.

Before we (and the faith we represent) can be seen as safe or trustworthy, we need to prove ourselves.

But how is that possible if students have already made up their minds?

Again, they would say, ‘how does that feel?’

Well, without getting to speak to each student individually (as nice as that would be), I think we need to have a reputation of grace that proceeds us.

I believe that the issues surrounding sex, sexuality and faith are some of the biggest hurdles young believers face.

They already feel SO MUCH tension, anxiety, pain, angst, struggle, embarrassment and shame as it relates to some of the things they think about, or participate in, and they need to know that we will be a safe place for them to bring all of their ‘sexual junk’ — knowing full well that they will not be judged — but accepted.  And loved.

If this is not where you (or your ministry, or your students) find yourself… all is not lost.

Some of us may have some serious work to do.

Some of us may have some amends to make.

Some of us may need to seek out the forgiveness of those we have judged. And hurt. And shamed.  Before we can expect our reputations to change.

But it can happen.

One student at a time.

We have been given the opportunity, during an incredibly formative season of life for these students, to be agents of grace.

A high calling indeed!

  • How’s your reputation on campus?
  • Would students classify you, your ministry, your students… as administers of grace?  Or shame?
  • If need be, what changes can you make today to help change your identity and/or reputation, such that students will KNOW that you are safe?

I’d love to know what you think!

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Guy Chmieleski – I am the founder of faithoncampus.com and the University Minister at Belmont University

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6 thoughts on “Shame Or Grace: What Does Your Ministry Really Extend to Struggling Students?”

  1. OK, this irony made me laugh: “As a result of this, in a sort of reverse-judgmentalism, many college students are coming to campus with their minds made up about us.” Of course the reality isn’t very funny. This may sound like a “churchy” answer, but I believe only God could have changed my heart and I’m convinced he’s the only one who can change anyone’s. If we really do want to extend grace and they don’t want to believe it, let’s get on our knees and pray for God to change their hearts. Seriously, how much time do we spend praying specifically, “God change Don’s heart, because he believes this… change Britt’s heart because she’s caught in this…” Judging these students aside, do we pray for them as much as we talk with them, teach them, plan activities for them, or worry about them? Thanks for the challenging thoughts, Guy!

  2. Wow, Christians as ministers of grace? novel concept…. But it should not be! This post is so necessary, and not just at the college ministry level. Thank you for being straightforward!

  3. I have a gripe with the Barna survey, but mostly on how it is phrased. Those polled perceive us (or judge us, oddly enough) as judgmental. It’s not whether or not we are judgmental, but that we are perceived as such. I only bring this up because the inaccuracy of “being” versus “perceived as being” is huge. (/off soapbox)

    This is a hard one. It takes a long time to develop a *good* reputation, and one has to fight perception along the way. The other part (and I would argue the larger part) are the students *in* the ministry. As they are the way reputation is spread, they are a vital part of the issue.

    1. Ian, thanks for your comments! I understand your gripe… totally!

      But there’s a part of that says that we’ve earned ourselves (as Christians) a pretty bad reputation as a family… So whether we agree with it, or not, we get to bare the label of being judgmental — even if we, personally, are not.

      We can, however, slowly overcome this as we show ourselves to be consistent (and consistently to judgmental) in how we live as followers of Jesus. And I don’t think that this means we cannot still have our opinions and beliefs (hopefully well-informed by the Scriptures and the Spirit) that we uphold and live out. But grace and hospitality must replace

  4. I just happened to come from a dialouge with a student leader that included some discussion on this topic …in cross cultural studies we talk about the art/practice of “suspending judgement”….but I like what my student leader said earlier today which was “replace judgement with ministry”…it tracks along lines of Guy’s thoughts, but I also like what Henri Nouwen says in regard to our lives becoming a safe place of hospitality…and it involving the creation of free space where a stranger can become a friend instead of an “enemy”….hospitality is not to change people but to offer them the space where change can take place….

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