For the past 10 years, I have been privileged to be the pastor, counselor, mentor, “Dad,” spiritual guide, and friend to hundreds upon hundreds of students at Florida State University. We’ve discussed everything from theology to dating to vocations and callings. We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried. Some talks have brightened my days, and some have broken my heart. Among the heartbreakers, a persistent, nagging theme has recently emerged via three different, but related, issues…

Issue #1: Countless college men are trapped in the habitual, addictive use of Internet pornography. According to “Psychology Today,” nine out of ten college males frequently utilize Internet pornography. Annually, according to CNBC, the porn industry generates over $14 billion.  Though there are numerous and significant consequences of such behavior, an issue of primary concern for me has become the objectification of the women being viewed. The men I counsel entirely lose sight of the fact that the women they are watching are more than simply objects for their sexual gratification – they are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s friend. They are real people with real stories and real worth in God’s eyes. Consequently, the increasing objectification of women “on screen” leads to the objectification of women in “real life.”

Issue #2: Far too many women have come to me following some experience of sexual assault. Young men have exploited them sexually, sometimes taking advantage of a young woman who has had too much to drink, or even utilizing date rape drugs – which are entirely too prevalent on college campuses! I’ve talked with numerous others who have not been forcibly sexually assaulted, but have been pressured to perform sex acts for young men who are virtual strangers, yet feel entitled after paying for a drink, or offering a ride. When did young men get the idea that they are entitled to have sex with women without consent – even if it requires coercion or the use of alcohol or drugs? When did women become objects to be used for men’s sexual gratification, regardless of the women’s desires or agreement?

Issue #3: In recent years, more and more of my students have become passionate about the issue of human trafficking, and sex-slavery specifically. They have gotten informed, and want to get involved. There are many great organizations that are hard at work, rescuing the victims, shutting down brothels, and prosecuting the perpetrators of this heinous crime. But, what about the men who have an appetite for prostitutes – particularly underage victims? According to UNICEF, over 2 million children are trafficked annually – how many male customers does that serve?  You can shut down the brothels – but, as long as there are men who are willing to pay, someone will find a way to provide the means. Again, as in the previous two issues, there is an entire international, illegal multi-billion dollar industry built on the assumption that underage boys and girls are nothing more than objects to be used for men’s sexual desires and gratification.

Though this is not an exclusively male issue – it is OVERWHELMING a male issue! Through three distinctively different issues, the common theme for each is men objectifying women (sometimes children, and occasionally males) as objects to be used for sex. College boys watching porn and masturbating does not equal slipping a date-rape drug into a girl’s drink, nor does it equal taking a trip to Southeast Asia to visit a brothel full of young girls for sale. But, in each issue, the core issue is the same – the wholesale, sexual objectification of women by men.

It seems to me that the Church has some significant work to do in helping men view women differently. Certainly there are many Christian gentlemen. Certainly there is nothing wrong with sexual desire, and the fulfillment of that desire in the context of marriage. Even normal attraction to physical beauty is entirely normal and appropriate. But, men have to learn that women are more than physical shapes to lust after, objectified for personal gratification, or victimized in the most deplorable ways.

Simply put – young men have to be taught that their attraction and desire does not equal a right to act on those attractions and desires. They must learn that all women – dates, images in magazines, actresses on-screen (including their computers), or for sale in a brothel or on a street corner – are made in the image of God, worthy of dignity and respect, and not created to be “used.”

That some women are paid for the films they star in or the sexual services they offer does not change who they fundamentally are – the image and likeness of God, who loves them unendingly.

That “everyone is doing it,” doesn’t make “it” ok when women become something less than human.

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